It Happened in Four Stages (and Ended In One Text)

You asked me once if I ever wrote anything about you…

Each time I say what’s on my mind it
Comes right back, but with the added weight
Of your disinterest and my desperation.

Nov. 30, 2016

I wanted to be left alone,
So I let him go.
But he came back;
He didn’t want to be
Done with me.

Jan. 1, 2017

He is only nineteen, but he has figured it all out. He is rational; he puts his anxieties to bed quietly, and they sleep for days. He can do anything alone; he has silenced his need for the approval of others, and they began to seek his. When he wants something, he gets it; he knows how to build himself up until you see him, and then you never want to stop.

He is the kind of person I should’ve become at nineteen. I just didn’t know it’s what I would have wanted when I was twenty-one.

Feb. 20, 2017

I am afraid of the world, but the more he speaks to me the more I want to face my fears.

I am just waiting for him to say when.

Feb. 27, 2017

I met someone else” was his goodbye.

I hope you’re happy” was mine.

March 8, 2017


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