“I wouldn’t Breathe Unless You Asked Me To” (an iphone note project)

(an ongoing piece detailing my weak spine)

  1. I would lose my sight to the sun before I blink and miss it again.
  2. Thinking is something I’ve always done, but can you believe that the earth rotates without a thought? As I think until I become nothing, the earth keeps turning.
  3. I haven’t considered you in so long that you became another universe: untouchable and foreign, like a stranger on the street. Yet I remember how you spoke when your grandpa died, and the way you would talk about home. Not quite a poet, but your words came together the same way.
  4. I am still lonely, but I made it to twenty-three.
  5. Your words feel cut and dry, like any poem found in the beginning of a paper thin novella. You think: “Speak and they will listen,” but its all been said before. A curse of the human condition.
  6. At sunset: “Look at the sky!”
    But you’re always too late, my voice miles away, the day turned to night.
  7. Touch is a love language you don’t know how to speak and all I can do is beg for you to talk, talk, talk.
  8. I’ve never felt more like a second thought than when you remind me of your first.
  9. Nothing makes me feel less beautiful than when you close your eyes, touch me, and sigh.
  10. And with your soul to match my sadness I think I will be okay. Your light will help outshine my dark.

    (to be continued…)

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To: My Favorite Person in the World…

From: Me, in the middle of the Pride Parade
June 10, 2017

It hurt me to know that
There was more love for you
Amongst thousands of strangers
Than in your own home.

I wanted to cry when I saw
Families proclaim their pride
For their sons and daughters,
Because it’s what you deserved.

I’m sorry I can’t change your family’s mind;
They don’t know what they’re missing.